Parenting is a tough job, that’s for sure. But parenting styles vary from one family to another and depending on the environment and influencers around your children.Another factor parents should consider in parenting is the personality of your child because your parenting style should ideally be compatible or complements that of your child so he/ she won’t disagree with you all the time. Parenting is complex but if we follow our instincts and we know our children very well coupled with openness and love, it shouldn’t be a difficult science to do altogether.
Looking back on how the world was and the parenting styles of the past, so many things have changed. It’s all entertaining to reminisce but as parents, we can’t help but stop and think- Why can’t we still have the Then’s now? Well, it’s really up to the parents to decide how to raise their children but at the end of the day, we always think what’s best for them and their future.
*** These are based on observations and actual parenting experience with mom friends***
- Then: No one used car seats
- Now: Car seats come in many kinds and brands. Almost like a need but all for the child’s safety.
- Then: Children play outside the house on the streets
- Now: Children stay indoors to watch TV, play their tablets, or computer games. Parents are worried about their children’s safety which is actually valid if you’re a parent.
- Then: When traveling, there were no iPads so parents discipline their children or deal with their child’s tantrums without any gadget to distract.
- Now: You’ll barely hear a child onboard when the tablet or their favourite videos start to play
- Then: People smoked everywhere even where kids are nearby, in the planes, in the malls, etc. and parents did not mind.
- Now: Smoking when there are pregnant women, kids, elders are considered rude. There are designated areas only everywhere which is good for parents so their kids won’t see smoking as a normal vice.
- Then: Breastfeeding wasn’t an “in” thing yet. Most parents bottle fed their babies.
- Now: There are numerous products to aid in lactation, make breastfeeding and milk storage easier for moms. Hospitals and pediatricians encourage breastfeeding too. Anyway, breastfeeding is the best milk for babies and no formula milk can ever replace it.
- Then: Parenting was from our parents’ advices, intuition, and trial & error.
- Now: When you need to know something about your child or parenting, GOOGLE or ask your mom group 🙂 (my mom and baby group really help us more than the doctors sometimes actually)
- Then: Ideas for kid’s baptism, parties, etc. are from friends, families, experiences, magazines.
- Now: PINTEREST or GOOGLE. Children’s party now are as extravagant as that of weddings and may cost the same or even more.
- Then: Families celebrate (with a gift to the child or a special treat for the child) when their kids had a milestone or achieved something.
Now: Parents celebrate in social media their child/ children’s accomplishments.
- Then: Play time and quality time with parents really mean quality time without any distraction.
- Now: Parents are usually distracted because of their mobile phones and because with the proliferation of technology, most people are on call for work almost 24/7 checking their emails and making calls.
- Then: Discipline includes spanking, kneeling on monggo beans, slapping, pinching, spanking with a stick or slippers, etc.
- Now: Discipline means talking to the children and parents are more careful about how children will react to physical punishment.
- Then: Family memories were mostly captured on camera and then pictures were printed and placed in albums.
- Now: Pictures are all digital and some are uploaded in social media accounts while some are buried in their laptops or computers unless mom or dad prints them.
- Then: Children’s playmates are their neighbours and family friends’ baby/ies. Play schools were non-existent or maybe just a few in the homes of moms.
- Now: Moms organize play dates with mom friends, mom group, or baby group. There’s play schools for children even those less than a year old.
- Then: There were no gadgets to entertain kids. Learning aids include wall charts, flash cards, chalkboard, paper and pen, magic slate, abacus, building blocks, and many more.
- Now: Tablets and Youtube videos keep kids quiet and still for hours
- Then: Children are usually left behind when traveling.
- Now: Children as early as newborn are brought by their parents to see other countries. Airlines are more baby-friendly now as an effect to this new trend.
- Then: Dad works and mom stays home to attend to the kids and the home.
- Now: Depending on the need, but most moms are working moms and some business moms. Women are more empowered.
- Then: No TV for __ days
- Now: No Facebook or internet for ___ days
- Then: Babies eat natural food at home and those packed baby food like Cerelac and Gerber.
- Now: There are more organic food for baby that moms and dads purchase- from powdered milk, to baby cereals, to snacks. More and more parents are conscious on what their children eat.
and the list goes on… 🙂
The world is a wonderful place. Let’s let our children explore. We just have to set the worries aside sometimes and let them figure out life. There are times when children figure out life better than their parents.
Mom, Dad, relax. Don’t let social pressures eat up your real parenting style. You’re doing great. No one is perfect and so are your kids and so are you too. Stop comparing because no parent is better than the other. We are all just different.
“The example we set for our kids, how to act when things don’t go our way is much, much more important than the rules we set for them.”